and the verdict was.....

(the resolution of peanuts felonious pee)


she calls me up to the stand, and she's like 'okay ms boodafli. you're charged with (glances down at paper) disorderly conduct for---what??!! (looks ay cop incredulously over granny glasses) public urin--how old was this kid??!!' (sounding more and more perturbed. i say, 'she's two, your honor'. she goes 'TWO?????!!!!!!!!! (exasperated sigh) case dismissed'

and then the cop says 'but, the real problem, your honor, was that she was (looks at me with unbridled contempt) parading her pantsless daughter in front of a bunch of strange men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
so the judge gives her the raised eyebrow and i say 'your honor, if i may--'
and she interupts me with a dr.evil style 'shhhh!' and says-'get a porta potty. case dismissed'

so i call my mom, cuz she kept pnut
and i'm like 'mommy (all sniffley) this is my one phone call. i got 5 years HARD LABOR!!!!!!'
and she said 'see? told you they'd dismiss!' and i told my dad the same thing--only i said chain gang
and he said--'you b!tch them before they b!tch you. i'll send cigarettes.'

yay judicial system!