pictures from the second year. (all 2 days of it.)

two.

i can't even explain it. she talks, and makes jokes, and pees on the potty, and wipes, and asks to go to bed now, and decides what she wants for breakfast and lunch, and what she wants to drink, and what she wants to wear. i know that i chose AP parenting because it seemed logical that, if you meet the need for dependence, you foster independence, but holy crud i didn't think she'd be her own little person so soon. it's incredible to watch tho. she knows what books she likes best, what tv shows, she's got very set ideas on what she wants to do at the playground. she is her own little person, her own little juggernaut of opinion.

but she is still my baby. when her head gets all heavy on my shoulder, and her drool runs down my arm, she is my baby. when she wraps her tiny arms around my legs, she's my little baby. when she's explaining to her bunny bun that he needs a piwwow and a bwankwet to go to sweep, she is totally my little baby. (and one that i'm never taking for speech therapy, because, god. bwankwet. that's too effing cute.)

watching her grow has been a priveledge. one that i'm not sure i deserve, but i'm damn grateful for it. she amazes me every. single. day. but i can't believe she's two. pray for me, i hear it gets worse from here on out.

travelling miles tonight

it's been a long time
since i've walked this line
thin, blue, aurally fine
but i'm travelling miles tonight
these notes move swift beneath my
feet tapping rhythms i can't remember learning
i sit still
because i'm travelling miles tonight
his crystal clear breath holds me
exhales me
i linger here on the fading
waiting
my heart beats drums like
a syncopated siren call
all i need is this sound
this music that moves me like ground
i cover, like lovers
i'm travelling miles tonight
space and time
such sublime conceptions
directions i've never moved in
tuned in
spaced out like mars, stars and the moon
this trumpet croons and i swoon
these sounds divine,
like when god said
i am
the world bloomed then
and in this room when
that music looms
i have to move and
i'm travelling
miles
tonight.

so we're peeing on the potty pretty regularly. we're using the phrase 'poop a potty' interchangeably with 'pee a potty', so mama never knows what's coming out until it happens.

i'm still knitting.

we've added grumpy, beside the seaside, and clean it up to the list of songs peanut can sing.


i feel like that might be all the news these days. i had some other ranty stuff, but i feel pretty calm today. went to the Y, and the park. overall, a good day.

i can't believe she's almost two. crazy.

bump shot.

steph over at adventures tagged me. so, here is my belly the day before my c-section.

why i heart boobies

because peanut got her first 48 hour tummy bug, and spent all of that time puking. even water. and yeah, she puked up a ton of breastmilk (reminiscent of her refluxy noob days) but she kept peeing, and asking to nurse, so all in all, (aside from the two times she missed the bucket and got my shoulder) it was just a really super snuggly 48 hours. with some puke. i coulda done without the puke. but i'm glad she was on the boob. my mom mentioned how, when i'd get my migraines, she'd offer me all sorts of stuff, from un-jelled jello, to broth, to soda, to keep me hydrated. (i puked a LOT with the migraines.) and so it was nice to know that, given how quickly breastmilk is absorbed and useable, that she was getting more than just 'fluids', but that she was getting fats, proteins, carbs, and all the other stuff that one loses when one is consistanly horking up ones toenails.

the heartbreaking bit, (aside from the fact that she totally got her daddy's ability to vomit--read--she's terrible at it) is that, she'd barf, and then go, 'i don't want this mommy! i don't like it!' sooooooooooooooooooo sad. but so cute at the same time. i'm impressed that we made it this far, but i have to say, my ocd is annoyed that i missed the two year mark by exactly 2 effing weeks. but i guess it's close enough for government work. and now? i'm off to nurse my peanut.

neat

got this from steph over @ adventures in babywearing.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

lucy lawless, who knew?

behold, aside from the breastfeeding going on...prefolds and covers on that cutey baby bum! EVEN XENA IS A CRUNCHY MAMA! w00t!