heartbreaking

we took peanut to the hair salon yesterday, to get her first official haircut. so the woman says, well, lets try the booster seat, and if that doesn't work, you can hold her. so i'm like, okay. so they put her in the booster, and wrapped a lil cape around her, and trimmed her lil bangs, and now she looks like a toddler. which, according to babycenter, she is, and has been for a month and a half. i disagree. i think shes a walkin talking signing baby. i am starting to understand the attitude of my mom when she says things like 'you'll always be my baby.'

*sniffle*

i'll post pix later. its too soon....

banging my friggin head

so i went back to my birthboard, at the prompting of my secret band of imaginary bitches. and there are all these CIO threads. so i posted a thread about cio alternatives. i suspect, that much like a ducks quack, it will get sucked up before it has a chance to echo.

so dark the con of woman

or something. i was on the phone tonight with a good friend of mine, who basically regurgitated all of the things that society feeds to women, to make them body concious, and weird about breastfeeding.

it's private.

doing it w/o a blanket is flaunting it.

this, from a girl, who has shaken her ass in mo clubs, but nursing in public would be weird?

so many of the things she said, like, she won't call LLL because she wouldn't want to sit there and watch all those women nursing, and she wouldn't want a total stranger (the leader) helping her/watching her breastfeed.

like. it's NOT sexual. it's not. sexual. not. sexual.

it's feeding a baby. the way nature, and the goddess (who, if you'll notice, friggin has boobs too!) intended.

it's just like a bottle, only, it's always sterile (except for those kareoke mud wrasslin nights, but who brings the baby to that?!) and it's cuter, and it's got a fabulous dual purpose.

it just irritates the smack outta me, that like, society in general has no problem wearing a see thru shirt with a demi bra, that shows off FAR more tit than NIP does, but stick a baby on that, and OH MY GOD! that HARLOT!

i am torn. seriously torn. because, i feel like, of COURSE if she wants to cover up, she should do exactly that. i harbor no ill will towards people who've got body image issues.

for me, it's the muffintop that makes me wary of lifting my shirt, but eventually it occured to me...i LIKE muffins. so eat me.

but back to being torn. on the other hand, i'm already miffed at her, because she said that she thought nursing past a year was weird. and she knows i'm nursing a 13 month old. and i know she thinks i'm weird. but by the same token, she knows that i've done SCADS of research on all this crap, and it's not like i went, ooh. i'm gonna nurse a toddler for shites and giggles. trust me. i want bodily autonomy like i want world peace and a benz, but i know the benefits of this activity far outweigh the minor annoyances (because mostly, i love it, since it's the only time she's still enuff for us to snuggle.)

i struggle with being a supportive friend, when i don't really agree with the circumstances. so this is hard for me, knowing that she's only 13 weeks, and at this point in MY pregnancy, i was looking at the arms reach cosleepers too, because i was afraid of squishing my baby, and i was still, at this point, pro circ, and still saying, 'well, i'll give breastfeeding a try, but whatever.' so i totally know that things can 180 real fast. i mean, johnson and johnson are totally right when they say having a baby changes everything.

so i'm trying to bite my tongue for now, and save the campaign for the bottom of the 9th. it's hard tho. really hard.

plus, everyone knows i'm a forkin geenyus, and gosh. whaddaya think WWJD stands for? obviously me!

who's the smartest baby ever?

why, mine of course! we've recently restarted babysigns (it's the real ASL) and she can do eat, and more, and mama, and milk(nurse). w00t!

and she REALLY likes dirty rice.

i feel like we might be graduating from babyfood to all table food. she still eats the purees, but i feel like i'm mostly over the terror of her randomly choking. she chews pretty well now. and it's not like we're giving her meat. she's handled carrots (chopped) and peas and beans, and pieces of apple and banana, and toast and pancakes, and waffles, all without choking. so i'm tempted to move on from the babyfood. on the other hand, she does still eat it. so maybe she likes it. i dunno. it's a tough call.

thats pretty much all i've got to talk about right now.

as though we need assistance in being anti war

but just in case

peacetakescourage.com

the WWJD one is especially heartwrenching.

midnight musings

even tho its really only quarter till 11.

so i got this random survey call yesterday from USC. and it was about parenting. so i'm like, okay. i'll take it. and the age range was from 9 months to 7 years. pretty big window, right? so then they ask questions like

how difficult is your child? answer on this scale
VERY difficult
Difficult
Slightly Difficult
Not at all difficult.

how often are you likely to use the following disciplinary techniques?
time out
one spank on the rear
spanking with an open hand
spanking with an object such as a hair brush or wooden spoon.

what. the. hell! like, okay. i KNOW that not everyone embraces the supercrunchy kids are kids philosophy. but surely this can't be how the majority of people view parenting, right?

right?

then they were like,
if your child broke an ornament by throwing a toy, how angry would you be at the child?
Very angry-------to-----not at all angry.

does your child intentionally break the rules.

now, they asked me at the start of the interview how old the peanut was. and i told them 13 months. so of COURSE she doesn't intentionally break the rules.

it just pissed me off, the way they seemed to paint kids as the villains who had to be broken into a civilised way of life. isn't that the problem? that we see normal development as something to fix?

i'll grant you that today, i've been running a fever, and i feel, in general like ass on a plate with a side of fries. (the peanut gave me her cold.) and the peanut is feeling better. which means our energy levels are at odds. so today, altho our living room is 98% babysafe, the tv is in there, and we don't have the big entertainment center with doors yet, so of course, it's a source of endless fascination. so like, 90 millions times, i redirected, and said, not for peanut, and gave her a toy she could play with. so the 910000000 time, i said it in a firm voice, not loud, mind you, just, hard, if that makes sense. and she looked at me like i'd just bit the head off of a bat, and burst into tears! i felt so bad. not bad enuff to let her play near the tv, but i picked her up and snuggled her for a good long time. now, is that VERY difficult? or Not At ALL difficult?

i have the urge to call the university and ask them what the piss that survey is about. but i'm also afraid of the answer.

another reason i'm glad i had a girl

not that it's really any better. i mean, girls have a whole host of issues specific to schooling. check out thisarticle.
it's so sad, isn't it? but it makes total sense. i mean, i acted out in school, and ended up with detentions, or whatever. not exactly something that would encourage me to be a better student, or to better my education, just something that would 'keep me in line'.

i dunno. i feel like this another nail in the coffin of cumpulsory ed. for me.

how eeoc are you?

http://www.maynardije.org/resources/game/

40 years of stupid

The Sunday Times - Britain



The Sunday Times April 23, 2006


Mothers got wrong advice for 40 years
Sarah-Kate Templeton, Medical Correspondent



BREAST-FEEDING mothers have been given potentially harmful advice on infant nutrition for the past 40 years, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has admitted.

Charts used in Britain for decades to advise mothers on a baby’s optimum size have been based on the growth rates of infants fed on formula milk.

The organisation now says the advice given to millions of breast-feeding mothers was distorted because babies fed on formula milk put on weight far faster.

These breast-feeding mothers were wrongly told that their babies were underweight and were advised, or felt pressured, to fatten them up by giving them formula milk or extra solids.

Health experts believe the growth charts may have contributed to childhood obesity and associated problems such as diabetes and heart disease in later life. A government study has found that more than a quarter of children in English secondary schools are clinically obese, almost double the proportion a decade ago.

This week, the WHO will publish new growth standards based on a study of more than 8,000 breast-fed babies from six countries around the world. They will say the optimum size is that of a breast-fed baby.

The move will put pressure on British doctors to replace charts which, for the last four decades, have taken into account the growth patterns of bottle-fed babies.

Professor Tim Cole, of the Institute of Child Health at University College London, said: “We should change to a growth chart based on breast-fed babies. During their first year they do not put on as much weight as those fed on formula milk. Breast-fed babies are less likely to be fat later in life and to develop complications such as diabetes and heart disease.”

Six years ago, Cole developed an alternative chart based on breast-fed babies but it has never been endorsed by the British medical establishment. The Child Growth Foundation, a UK charity, campaigns for the adoption of Cole’s chart.

The foundation claims breast-fed babies are, on average, at 22lb at 12 months, about 1lb lighter than those fed solely on formula milk. It is thought that breast-fed babies grow more slowly in the first year because they control the rate at which they feed, rather than being tied to their parents’ notion of meal times.

Mercedes de Onis, who co-ordinates WHO child growth standards, said: “Breast-fed babies appear to self-regulate their energy intake to lower
levels. Breast-fed babies have different metabolic rates and different sleeping patterns. Formula-fed babies seem to have higher intakes of energy and, as a result, are heavier.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics has warned that being overweight as a baby is a key early risk factor for heart disease and diabetes.

The babies who were the models for the new WHO standards were selected for good health. They were all breast-fed, their mothers did not smoke and they received good health care.

The WHO says babies should be fed solely on breast milk for up to six months. In Britain, fewer than 10% of babies are getting only breast milk by this age.

The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health is to meet this summer to discuss the new WHO standards.

The Department of Health said: “Once WHO publishes the new growth charts we will assess the need for revisions to the UK growth charts.”

damn.

she has a cold. it's not a bad one. but i HATE it when she's sick. she gets all, unpeanutty. her eyes don't sparkle as much, she doesn't talk as much, and then, of course, there is the snot. she is quite prolific at producing snot. and she hates the boogersucker. and she hasn't mastered blowing her nose yet. and i used to talk all sorts of smack on moms who let their babies run around with crusty snot under their nose. and now i see the power struggle it is to remove said snot. i still do it. but i have a lot less of that 'oh my god how COULD she?' going on. because, if i didn't think it'd be harder to get rid of crusty snot, i'd so let it ride.

but she's still nursing. and that's a good thing. since she's not really interested in eating solids, or drinking from her sippy. yay nursing!

it's a wonder my heart don't explode

i love this kid. we went out to dinner last night, at the hilton head diner (altho i still stand by my assertion that diner is a misnomer for a place that serves italian food.) and they had those tableside jukeboxes. this makes me SO happy. in pburgh, there is a REAL diner, with tableside jukeboxes, and i spent more time there, such that the waitresses actually knew my order before i sat down. they watched me grow up. and while i don't expect that this so called diner down here will have the same sort of 'cheers HEY NORM' factor for peanut, they do have tableside jukeboxes. and that's almost as good.

so i put in my 2$ worth of quarters. which should have alotted me 7 songs, according to the list. but i got 18. w00t! so i played all sorts of stuff that i thought peanut would dig. and she danced in her lil highchair ALL thru dinner. SO. CUTE. she likes kanye west, and the mamas and the papas, and david bowie. i'm so proud.

thoughts on sleep

so much of infant/toddler care seems to center on sleep. and i realize, that when you break it down, they do sleep more than they do anything else. but does it matter WHEN they sleep? or just that they sleep?

here's my thoughts. i sleep when i'm tired. if i go to bed when i'm NOT tired, i lay there and think about stuff. i compose theoretical blogs, or imagine the furniture arrangement i'd create if i had unlimited muscle. things like that.

clearly, peanut doesn't have thoughts quite this deep. i think her brain follows more this track-'not sleepy. ooh! let's sit up. okay. now. crawl. no! wait! stand up! walk! YES! LOCOMOTION!' or something like that. which makes sense. i mean, so much of the first year or two is about physical independence. so, where i might perseverate on life to entertain me while i lay in bed not sleeping, she focuses on her new talents. and i know it's not only her. i read a lot about babies who crawl in their sleep. thankfully, she stays awake to do her motives.

that being said. i'm often awake at night. and it's been like that, since i was a baby. i didn't cosleep with my folks. but my mom didn't let me CIO to the best of my knowledge. so she stayed up with me every night from like, 2-5am. and that's still a time when i feel most productive. so is that just an inherent thing? i mean, is my circadian clock set to PST? or did she do me a disservice by not encouraging me to sleep at night, and be up during the day? is it even a thing we can change?

when peanut was a tiny peanut, she had really curious sleep patterns. but a lot of it took place at night. so it wasn't too bad, since we coslept. and for like, 2.5 months, she would get up at 8 am, when her daddy got up to get ready for work. this caused my mother to declare her an 'early bird.' but now, she'd prefer to be up at night, and sleep during the day.

in everything else, we allow for changes in age, and development to dictate how we respond to behaviors. but culturally, we tend to be pretty rigid about sleep. it *should* happen at night, blah blah. but also, culturally, we have the highest incidence of sleepiness related car crashes, etc. i think i read once, that in china (i think it was china, anyway) they let employees take a nap during the work day. is it any wonder that everything is made in china? i mean, when i was in the workforce, i often slept thru my lunchbreak. so there seems to be some argument for daytime sleep being refreshing.

i guess, what i'm trying to figure out, is this. do i accept peanuts hours as they are, and assume that, like any older human being, she will sleep when she is tired? do i manipulate her schedule, and get her up earlier, so that she'll go to bed earlier? obviously, i'm not considering CIO or anything, but my dear, sweet mother seems to have a LOT to say about the fact that the baby is up at night, and asleep during the day. and since she got up with me in the middle of the night, and i still don't have "good" sleep habits, i wonder about this. will it change on its own? or is this her schedule? personally, i don't care either way-i'm fine with being up at night, and asleep during the day. i just thought it was worth posting in the blogosphere, to see what y'all had to say.

*addendum* i also wonder if this whole staying up late thing hasn't been somewhat predicated by gene being at work later on a more frequent basis. she's in that 'daddy's girl' phase, and i wonder if she's not tweaking her own schedule so she'll be awake for him when he gets home.

hating on the world.

i am grumpy. i had a migraine last night. the baby wouldn't sleep. and i got 'talked to' about sleeping all day. bite me. hard. and with relish.

that is all.

seventeen

number of sitemeter search quieries involving circ, foreskin, and a combination of the two. who knew the C word was a traffic generator. (and see? foreskin DOES have a purpose!)

free write!

they call me hippie
like the great unwashed
i shower, when time allows
have bath salts and cremes
no patchouli to be seen
i breastfeed my daughter
crunchy describes my cereal
not my lifestyle
but i wake up next to my baby
this makes me a nut
(well, nuts are crunchy and
go great with granola)
i don't wear berkenstocks
but roxy flip flops
and my gentle discipline
make this mom thang a snap.

your own...personal...dna...

Free-Wheeling Inventor

so if you mouse over each color, you'll learn a bit about my personality. fun fun.

double standard.

i was talking with an acquaintance of mine, who is expecting a boy shortly. and she was asking standard questions, about c-sections, and stuff. and breastfeeding. and obstacles that get in the way of breastfeeding. and it is in this way, that circumcision came up. i said, surgical procedures can hinder breastfeeding success. i meant this as a generalization-of both mom and baby procedures (speaking as a c-section related breastfeeding obstacle survivor myself) and she said-what, like circumcision? and i said, well, yeah, that too. and she said, well, everybody has their sons circ'd, so are there no boys who breastfeed? i said, well. no. obviously that's not what i meant. but it does sometimes interfere. they tend to use an inadequate numbing creme, etc, and the baby is in pain. newborns are designed to sort of shut down when they're overestimulated, so this can result in the same sort of latching problems that i had with my sleepy baby. (i should've stopped there, but i HAD to add) also, routine circ rates are on the decline. the AAP doesn't recommend it, and it's a procedure that's mainly cosmetic. and she said, but every one i've ever seen has been circd. and i said, well, you're like, 30. 30 years ago, they circd all the boys, regardless. but since then, medical information has surfaced, which shows that circ isn't required for anything at birth. now, sometimes, there are problems that might occur. but like, you might get breast cancer too. would you cut off your boobs just in case? and she was like, what? no! that's stupid. and i was like, exactly. and she was like, but won't it be dirty? and i was like, look, admittedly, i've only ever seen one intact man. but he was very clean. and, as long as you teach your son how to care for it, it'll be clean. it's like the vagina, in that it's selfcleaning to an extent, and you really only need to rinse it. and she was like, but, they're so weird looking! and i was like, well, but in africa, they do female circumcision because they think labias are ugly. do you agree with that? and she was like, no, of course not! and i was like, but if you circ because of looks, won't you be doing basically the same thing? and she was like, no, because the foreskin isn't really necessary, it's like the appendix of the penis. (i must admit, that that made me giggle. appendix of the penis. i can't wait to see what google hits that pulls in.) anyway. i was like, the foreskin contains 80% of the nerves in the penis. and, if it's so useless, why do they save them, and sell them to cosmetic companies. (ew, right? but google it. it's true.) and she was like, they do not. and i was like for real! google it. and then i told her to google this video (http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html)
which shows the procedure, so she can see it, before she makes a choice. and she said, she felt it was a decision her babydaddy should make. and shouldn't they look alike? and i was like, well. if the baby has brown eyes, are you going to get him contacts so he'll have blue eyes like his daddy? and she was like, no...

at the end of our conversation, i feel like she hadn't really gotten that there WAS a choice. that you don't HAVE to circ. i mean, i tried to keep it basic. i tried to keep it simple, and not go off on the whole, it's not even your body, and if your son, when he's of age, decides that he wants to be circd, then at least it'll be his choice. i have several tattoos. and piercings. but i wouldn't dream of piercing peanut's ears in infancy/toddlerhood. she will have to be old enuff to ask for it, and care for it. they are her ears. i chose all my piercings, all my tats, and i'm happy with them. it's my body, it should be my choice. (that slays me too-since this girl is pro-choice. i'm like, in my head, so why is it then, that you aren't advocating for your sons choice about HIS body, when he's too small to advocate for himself?) but i know this is a touchy subject. and i know that my thoughts (that it's abuse, and a violation of human rights) are pretty out there. but even if you don't see it from that perspective, the basic, unnecessary surgery hours/days after birth-inflicting pain on your newborn for no reason at all perspective should carry some weight.

so. taking the long way to get here...why is it, that the majority of westerners are appalled by female circumcision in other cultures, but see no problem with routine male infant circ? what's the difference? and, what are we teaching our sons? that they're defective from birth? that we had to 'fix' them? i don't even get that? it's like, oh! here's my baby! he's perfect! 10 fingers, 10 toes, oh god! what IS THAT?! cut it off! i mean-i waited a YEAR to cut peanuts hair! and i know i'm loony, but seriously. i cried when they did the heel prick, because she cried.

i know i sound horribly judgmental. and maybe hypocritical, since it was less than 2 years ago, that i was in the same mindset as this girl. but when my babydaddy said he didn't want the baby circd if it was a boy, damnit i did the research! and guess what?


he was right.

i guess it just irritates the shite out of me, that people spend HOURS reading up on diapers (wipe, cream, dipe, it's not fuggin rocket science) and planning the THEME for the nursery (because, in 13 years they want to have to paint over thomas the holy mother of scary tank engine) but they just willy nilly go along with SURGERY for their INFANT! what. the. hell? seriously. it's a big internet. google is your friend!

i hope this girl makes an informed decision. whatever it is. i hope it's researched as much as her freakin jogging stroller.

to meme, or not to meme (comments welcome, requested, even.)

that is the question. when i'm nursing the peanut, i tend to randomly surf blogs of other moms. and i see a lot of things like, thursday thirteen, and stuff. and these hold a certain chainletter appeal for me. i felt pretty indulgent doing my 100 things list (which was absurdly hard, surprisingly.) since i had the fleeting thought-who honestly gives a crap? and isn't this journal supposed to be about peanut? and, it does seem to scream, leave me comments! which, is a double edged sword. i swoon when my email shows that i've got a new comment. i love comments. i even kinda liked the spam comments before i turned on the word verification. i got over that, but i do love comments. but i want comments to be about the things i actually give a poo about. y'know, peanut, and boobs, and stuff.

but i like reading the memes. even when i'm just hitting the random site button on crazyhipblogmamas, i like reading the memes of people i'm totally not invested in. i also adore the word meme. say it outloud a few times. meme meme meme. it's like, nanoo nanoo. you just can't help but grin a lil bit when you say it.

so. i'm asking for comments here. do you think memes are a good addition to a blog? i'm hesitant to trust my own judgement here, since i find infomercials entertaining, and i seem to be a minority in that. and, if you are a regular reader, that i read too, would you think about memeing with me? maybe we could have a newbiememe support group, lol.

two sites that make me pee a little bit

from laughing, that is.

http://my-first-feto.livejournal.com/3307.html
that page is breastfeeding cartoons, but the whole journal is funny enuff that i'm tempted to blogroll her.

and

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com
which is mostly cynical humor mixed with badly drawn figures. i lurve it.

tivo la revolution!

maybe i'm too lazy to be an anarchist. i couldn't even get out of the house to get to the post office today. between cleaning and peanut care, even if the revolution were televised, i'd have to catch it on re-run. i used to go to marches and rallies and stuff all the time. it's just not practical now. not that there's a lot of rallying happening in south carolina anyway, unless nascar is involved. but even if i were still in pburgh, i suspect things would not be markedly different. granted, i've got friends in both places who'd prolly keep an eye on the peanut long enuff for me to go shout about no justice, no peace *random aside-when i take peanut out of her carseat, we chant, no justice, no peace, FREE PEANUT. she doesn't get it, but i find it hilarious every time i do it.* and march a few blocks. but i just don't really want to leave peanut right now. is that very unrevolutionary? i also don't want to put her in harms way, obviously. but what's equally surprising to me, is my sudden realization that i don't want to put ME in harms way either. i think this is similar to the whole, milk pumping in case i get hit by a truck sort of neurosis. regardless of motivation, it bespeaks a whole aspect of this parenting game i wasn't quite expecting.

i used to tease my mom cuz she wasn't a big risk taker. i suspect that, with any luck, in 14 years, it'll be my daughter, who's parading down main street chanting 2 4 6 8 we don't need no racist state, telling me that *i* need to be a risk taker. and so on.

i'm a pixie, i'm a paper doll, i'm a cartoon...

okay. really just a pixie...snatched this off of mother anarchy and about peed myself giggling. f'real. go take it....





What type of Fae are you?

she is a genius

maybe not a genius, but at least, pretty dang smart. i belong to a bulletin board chock full of mommies o babes who are the same age as peanut, as i've mentioned. and they have all been lamenting the sippy cup battles they've been engaged in, regardless of if they're breast, or bottle feeding. i get that most pediatricians recommend starting the sippy at 6 months, but at that age, peanut was more interested in teething on it, than anything else. so we'd offer, and she'd gnaw on it, and fling it around a bit. so we took the nospill valves out, and tried again. she still wasn't interested in drinking out of it. this went on once or twice a month, for the last 6 months. and on the one hand, i was a little concerned, since most of the other babies on the board seemed to have gotten the hang of it. on the other hand, she was still nursing, so i wasn't too worried about it. i did think it'd be nice for her to have some water occasionally, but overall, i was pretty lacadaisical about it.

so here it is april. and the paternal grandfolks are coming to visit. and i was thinking, i should try the cup again. so we bought the gerber ones (after having tried avent, and nuby, to no avail) that have a really soft spout, and adjustable handles.

prior to this, i should mention, peanut learned a new skill, which was slurping her drool back into her mouth. ew, right? but it did cut down on the number of shirt changes we went through per day. so if you said 'peanut, go like this' and made the slurping sound, she'd mimick it.

so day before yesterday i pumped some milk, and put it in our spankin new cups. and handed it to her, just to see what she'd do. and again, we gnawed on it, and flung it around. but then, she was chewing on the spout, in perfect drinking position. so i said, peanut go like this, and made the slurping sound. and she did.

and now she can use a sippy.

in other peanut hilarity-when i pump, she toddles over to the couch, and tries to pull the cord from the pump. and yells at me. like i'm cheating on her. so i've remastered the art of pumping and nursing at the same time.

medical malpractice

that's the only way i can think to describe this article. i snagged this off of babycenter, so read it and weep:

Getting tonsils out may help kids behave, sleep better

MONDAY, April 3 (HealthDay News) — Children's behavior and sleep improved after they had a tonsillectomy, whether or not they had sleep apnea before the surgery, according to a University of Michigan Health System study.

And among children in the study who had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) before the surgery, about half did not have it a year after their tonsils were removed.

The 78 children in the study group who had their tonsils removed were much more likely than a comparison group of 27 children to have sleep and behavior problems at the start of the study. However, after the children in the study group had their tonsils out, tests showed little difference between them and the children in the comparison group.

The results appear to support previous research suggesting a link between children's sleep-related breathing problems (snoring, apnea) and daytime behavior problems, the researcher said. However, they added that their findings do not prove cause and effect and that tonsillectomy is not usually a "cure" for ADHD.

"These findings help support the idea that sleep-disordered breathing is actually helping to cause behavioral problems in children, and making them sleepy," study lead author Dr. Ronald Chervin, director of the U-M Sleep Disorders Center and co-leader of the Center for Sleep Science, said in a prepared statement.

"This is one of the first studies to document, using gold-standard measures, that all of these sleep and behavior problems tend to resolve one year after enlarged tonsils and adenoids are removed," Chervin said.

The study is published in the April issue of the journal Pediatrics.

-- Robert Preidt, HealthDayNews

****

what. the. hell?! does anyone see the blatant inconsistencies in this article? first, they say that even in kids w/o sleep apnea, they were 'better behaved' a year later. OF COURSE THEY WERE! they were a year OLDER! duh! but then, it says that it shouldn't be construed as cause and effect, that a tonsilectomey would improve behavior (even tho, in the email i got, the clickable link for the article said 'tonsilectomies help kids sleep, behave better') but then, it says, this is one of the first studies to document that sleep and behavior problems resolve after tonsils and adenoids are removed. so which is it? does it work? is it just that the kids are older, and less prone to bouncing off of the walls? what was the age sample in this group?

are they REALLY saying that MAJOR SURGERY is an option for behavior modification? am i reading that right? i can't be. they can't be saying that. i mean, i know that sleep apnea is a dangerous thing, and needs to be resolved, i'm not denying that part of it. my dad has sleep apnea, and it's a bad bad scene. but they put him on this weird machine that shoves oxygen thru his nose at night to keep his airways open.

now, he's depressed. and he doesn't always wear his cpap machine. so should he have his tonsils and his adenoids removed to cure his depression?

does that not sound patently ridiculous?

the downside of being a parent, i've discovered, is that you're more likely to encounter the dumbest information, while you're looking for ways to improve as a mom. (or dad.)

i'd be curious tho, to see if any parents who read this, have kids who've had this procedure completed in the past, and if they see any behavioral changes that don't seem to be age related. my older brother had his tonsils and adenoids removed, and he still spent some time in jail as an adult. so i'm skeptical.

thoughts on stereotypes

watch this

okay. are ya back? are you a little sick to your stomach at the sheer indifference of a large percentage of our population? me too. but that's not what i want to talk about.

i want to talk about the fact that, of ALL the people who ignored that little girl, all of them were white. all those white folks, ignored that white girl. it was two young black men, who finally stepped up to the plate to do something about it.

two young

black

men.

the very demographic our culture instructs us to fear.

hold your purses ladies.

watch your white women fellas.

here come the gang bangers. the pushers. the pimps.

the only people who would

save
your
white
daughter
from
being
abducted

i know that it's not always about race.
i know that they would've stopped for a little black girl too.
i know that the global issue of the piece isn't the race of the 'saviors' but the indifference of the populace.

i don't care.

i want all the news channels to run this, as often as they run a 'suspect was a young black male' news story. make as much fuss over this, as the 7-11 holdup.

i want people to see who the heroes are. when it comes down to it, who knows about the village.

i love my people.

*****
that being said. how fucking scary is it, that they did that for hours, and only 2 people did anything about it? how fucked up is our society? i was in the dollar store with my mom a while back, when peanut was maybe 7 or 8 months old. i had her in the meitai, and she was asleep. anyway, there was a family in the store, and they had 2 little girls, one was around 5 or 6, the other one was maybe 2 or 3. and the young one kept wandering off to look at the toy wall. the mom was trying to get checked out etc, and kept telling the older one to keep an eye on the little one. well, this wasn't working out very well, and the mom was like, i'm gonna leave you behind, etc. so i was like, hanging out by the little one, to make sure she didn't like, run out the door or anything. and my mom was like 'you should stop trying to mother the world.' but the thing is, it's not that i'm trying to mother the world, y'know? it's that, children are everybodys responsibility. it's that simple. if i were in a situation, where i was in public, and i had to have less than 100% of my attention on peanut, i would want to know that there was a non-freaky person who had my back. i totally believe in the whole 'it takes a village' addage. it really does. and i think that newspiece exemplifies that. i mean, how many kids have been snatched in just that sort of way? and if they survive it, what must that do to thier faith in humanity? they scream for help, and nobody takes them seriously. nobody helps. it is the saddest thing i can think of right now.

so. keep an eye on kids. you never know. and it can't hurt.

a day at the beach-or-is youtube.com the noo hotness?

this used to be a video. i had to take it down.

i'm soooooo erudite

The Librarian You scored 73 erudition!

Congratulations! You're well above average when it comes to your knowledge of English grammar, history, and literature. You may have missed a few questions, but if you keep your studies up and stay away from genre fiction, we'll have you ready for Stanford in no time! Who knows, we just might be reading your columns in Talk of the Town a few years from now.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 32% on erudition

Link: The Are You Truly Erudite? Test written by okellelala on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

too cool for school

at least, i'd like to think she is. the current plan is to nag the babydaddy for the next 4 years, so that he thinks it too.

unschooling is the belief that, children, if left to their own devices, will eventually learn all the crap they teach in school anyways, but without the obnoxious dissolution of thier innate desire to learn. sounds too good to be true, right? i mean, don't we need discipline? socialization? how the hockeysticks are we supposed to teach chemistry, algebra, or any other class we royally flunked in high school.

when i was in school, i HATED it. i was labeled gifted, and sent off to a special school once a week for the first 8 years of my schooling career. this, of course, makes it hard to be friends with the 'regular' kids. which means that your friend pool is limited to the gifted kids. which is not a bad thing. i mean, it's nice to not have to pretend that dodgeball is the best invention of modern man. but of course, this whole seperation thing, this pits kids against one another. which would happen anyway, i suspect, over any sort of thing, but this just happens to be my thing. and it's not as overt as the whole muscleman kicks sand in the face of 98 lb weakling, y'know? but it does affect whether you go to the birthday party with the bouncehouse, or the chem set set up in the back yard. so hating school continued throughout high school. only somewhere around 8th grade, i discovered playing hookey. so high school wasn't as unbearable as it could've been, had i been forced to be there for more than 75% of it. but it brought its own set of challenges and irritations. and then, i got sick. blessedly. which ended in me finishing out my senior year at home.

oh. my. god. see, i had had this picture in my head, of homeschooling being done in the kitchen, next to the pot bellied stove, with an apron clad mom switching between biscuits and biology. in fact, i got a tutor, and we met at a coffee house! sweet! it was totally different. yeah, the work was the same, but now, i had 4 months to finish it. with the exception of the math, i had all of it completed in a month and a half. i loved it. being able to work on what i wanted, when i wanted, for as long as i wanted, was spectacular. it wasn't a power struggle anymore.

but even that wasn't enough to convince me that homeschooled kids weren't those freakishly polite, button down shirt wearing, god fearing, poorly socialized, always pegged the hardest in neighborhood dodgeball games cuz they were so freakin weird kids. when i found out i was pregnant (the day before moving to a new state) the first thing i thought, after the initial terror wore off was, i wonder if our house is in a good school district. in fact, i obsessed over this throughout my pregnancy. we lived in a neighborhood, which had an international baccalauriate primary school. but the house we were planning on buying in that neighborhood didn't pan out. i was panicked. if we bought somewhere else, how could we get peanut into the IB elementery school?

one day, we were out tooling about, and i noticed a montessori preschool. i saw a ray of hope. if there was a preschool, surely there was an elementary school! hark! but no. pre pre k, pre k and k. that was it. shit.

eventually, i got too pregnant to care.

and then i gave birth, and all the terror of having a poorly educated child came flooding back.

only this time

i googled.

unschooling. it pops up in random AP themed websites. i'd never heard of it. and at first, it sounded whacky. like breastfeeding a toddler, i just couldn't see myself doing it. of course, here i am, breastfeeding a toddler. so why not unschool?

here's what i've gleaned so far

you don't have to do anything, like buy desks for the kitchen, or draw up cirricula, or anything like that. you can teach math from shopping, reading from cooking, biology from walks on the beach. it's basically seeing LIFE as EDUCATION.

how revolutionary is that?

i mean, we get so caught up in the idea that cumpulsoray education prepares us for life in the 'real world' that we forget all that the 'real world' has to teach.

my mom keeps saying that there's an aspect of socialization that one can only get in school. i don't know that i want peanut exposed to that sort of socialization. i feel like, she can learn how to work in a group, etc, in things like art class, or whatever she ends up liking enough to sign up for. there's a ymca here. they've got all sorts of classes, so i'm sure we'll take advantage of that.

and maybe the montessori school, at least for a little bit. i hear they're offering a 1st-3rd grade class this year.

but i think, ultimately, unschooling will be the path we choose. or, rather, the path i choose, and browbeat the babydaddy into accepting. it just makes so much sense.

hmm.

so, the unschooling post is turning out to be longer than i thought it would be. here's an entry on someting totally unrelated in the meantime.

dolls. my google adsense randomly referenced baby dolls, altho i cannot find any logical link to that, but whatever. it got me thinking. my daughter is multiracial. as am i. but as pale as i am, she's even paler. when i was growing up, of course i had dolls in all possible colors (tho at that time, it was pretty much, white, or black. i think i was 6 when they came out with polynesian barbie, and she had a bindi on her head, so that wasn't really it either.) anyway. i remember being mad that i couldn't find a cabbage patch that seemed biracial enuff. i eventually settled on a browneyed, brownhaired one and i loved her to fabric-worn bits, but...

for peanuts first birthday, we found a first birthday cabbage patch doll, with brown hair, and brown eyes, and an olivey skin tone. it works, kind of, but why don't they make for real biracial dolls. i mean, it's not the 60s anymore. it's not like people don't KNOW that interracial relationships are happening. they make asian dolls, and spanish dolls, why not hafro dolls?

i dunno. i guess it just peeves me that there's an entire demographic being ignored in the affordable doll industry. if i went to fao schwartz, and shelled out like, a hundred dollars, i could get a biracial lookin doll. but who has a hundred dollars for a freakin doll?!

*sigh*

an update in the life of the cutest baby EVER!

or, evar, as these young'uns nowadays say. we're sleeping better now. by which i mean, we're sleeping for longer stretches. sometimes, these longer stretches are during the day, which of course, means that she's up at night. but i'm okay with that. eventually, we'll get it turned around. i'm just glad that she's staying asleep for more than 2 or 3 hours at a clip. she looks like a little kid. grandma finally got her naggy way, and i let her cut peanut's hair. it's cute. and i have the hair in an envelope. sealed and dated. it's sitting on my desk, longing for it's place in a scrapbook, much like the lazyeyed girl who waits, on prom night, far past when it would be reasonable to wait. so full of hope, and joie de vive. and maybe i'm putting too much personification into a friggin envelope of hair, but it makes me feel guilty that it's been 5 days, and it's still sitting there. and i know it will probably sit there, or get shuffled around, and then misplaced, wherein i will have a full fleged panic attack, and clean madly till i find it. i will place it on the desk...you see where this is going, don't you. such a vicious cycle.

anyway. what else? oh! she's got a fantastic sense of comedy. we were playing on the floor, and she kept pulling my shirt up. i, in true egocentric form, assumed she was going after the tiggles. but she kept flopping forward, with her face on my belly, and going mmmmmmm. mmmmmmm. it took like, 4 times of this, for me to realize, she's giving me razzberries! is that not the picture of hilarity? i spent a good 10 minutes guffawing over this, which of course, encouraged her to keep it up.

and. she dances. she wiggles her tiny bum to all sorts of random music, but especially themesongs to the shows on sprout. yup. tv. ooooooh! i'm in twubble now, i bet. but have you watched sprout tv? it's friggin addictive. i love pingu, and big sister lil brother, and noddy. but mostly pingu. that penguin. crazy hijinks! it's great! i'd say 9.5 times out of 10, i'm more into the show that she is. but that's okay. it's all worth it for the dancing. i must get video of this. this is much more than the bumwiggles she produced for the m-na-m-na monster. this is real dancing, as she is not even holding on to the ottoman.

i'm reading about unschooling. i like what i've read so far. my podunk town library actually had the unschooling hand book. first the IPT book, and now this. there must be someone there who's like, a stealth hippie. *mission:suss out crunchy booketeer at library. invite on playdate.* i was going to talk more about unschooling just then, but i think i'll leave that for a seperate blog.

you must, if you have cool babies, go to cafepress and search out tot rocket baby gear. i, and my babybattered bladder, were repeatedly weak last night, as i browsed the acerbicly witty baby tees. first on my list of witty tees for peanut? my mommy's tattoos are cooler than your mommys tattoos. it will so be worth the 12 bucks, because it's tru! my tats are cooler than yours. now be jealous.