all the cool kids are doing it.
1. i should be working.
2. i love my daughter more than anything.
3. i'd kill for a newport right about now.
4. loud noises make me want to get down on the floor, in case it's gunfire
5. i hate it that people think #4 is something i do to be funny.
6. i'm often more insecure than people think
7. i secretly long for a real spa pedicure
8. i write poems, then tear them up
9. sometimes i cry in the shower.
10. i wish i had more discipline.
11. it scares me when people tell me that i'm a good mom. it's too much pressure.
12. i want to go back to italy
13. i have moles. the body kind, not like, random small burrowing blind animals.
14. i'm addicted to tattoos.
15. and piercings. but i feel like, now that i'm a mom, i need to knock that shit off.
16. i once stole a purple velvet bookmark in elementary school and got caught.
17. i actually do like chick flicks. shh.
18. i find racism in random advertisements, and then i get all pissy for a while and boycott.
19. i don't boycott walmart because it would be inconvienent.
20. i wish i had the discipline to be a vegetarian.
21. i'm really judgemental. i hate that.
22. i feel like i should do more.
23. i don't know if i'll make it to 100. this is hard.
24. i rather enjoy the fruity babyfood.
25. i once sang sweet transvestite in front of a theatre full of strangers.
26. i was high when i took my SATs. i still got almost 1100.
27. i want my kid to be smarter than me.
28. i have no patience for stupid people.
29. i hate punctuation, and capitalization. i enjoy languagefucking.
30. there are people i dislike enough to injure.
31. i'm pro-life
32. i want to have a VBAC if we have more kids
33. at a birthing center.
34. i pumped breastmilk for a cancer patient.
35. she died anyway. i feel guilty.
36. i lack follow through.
37. i'm really funny.
38. i can read faster than the average bear.
39. i have an inexplicable affection for mechanical singing plush toys.
40. those christmas trees with faces that sing freak me out a lot.
41. so does thomas the tank engine, and jayjay the jetplane
42. this is the answer.
43. i read the same books over again, even when they weren't that good to begin with.
44. i like cool ranch doritos better than nacho cheese doritos.
45. i once drank everclear with koolaid. i don't recommend it.
46. i'm really good at lying. but i end up telling on myself.
47. i've been raped.
48. i don't know how to tell my daughter that.
49. i enjoy the tiki motif
50. i'm a really good swimmer.
51. i love the beach.
52. i miss pittsburgh more than i'd admit. sometimes i wish i was still there.
53. i am occasionally accused of hating white people. usually by other white people.
54. i was white for 12 years and didn't know it.
55. now i'm black, because South Carolina doesn't have a multi/bi-racial box on their drivers licsence, and i'm all about equal opportunity.
56. i'm occasionally accused of hating black people. usually by other white people.
57. i wish my blog got more comments
58. i worry about posting pictures of peanut, because of crazy freaks
59. i feel like it's my responsibility to keep everyone i know happy
60. i have an inexplicable love for desk calendars
61. and those mini-kits from the bookstore, like, yoga in a box, spa in a box, etc.
62. and informercials. i could recite the entire set it and forget it infomercial
63. what's more, i own a set it and forget it. and a magic bullet.
64. i wish i could crochet. but i can only do one long chain.
65. i like to listen to depressing music sometimes. even if i'm not depressed.
66. i like dunkin donuts better than krispy kreme
67. in fact, i think krispy kreme is overrated, and a rip off. i mean, it's sugared air! now, a dunkin donut. that's a donut with some SUBSTANCE.
68. i think i should use a parental thing to block all search engines from my computer so i can't scare myself with pho's, pvc's, phtalates, BPAs, and all the other horrible things that my daughter is going to be exposed to.
69. i have mild OCD.
70. it's a miracle that i don't have a police record from my misspent youth
71. i always feel secretly superior at the pedi's office when peanuts hemoglobin count is high, even tho she's not on drops.
72. i wish i had my own tv show, a la waynes world, but without the rackety music
73. i hate heavy metal
74. i'm afraid i'm not interesting enough to have a full 100 things on this list
75. i am going to dred my hair. i'm scared, but hopeful.
76. i hate childrens songs. i sing the indigo girls to peanut.
77. and ani difranco
78. i might secretly be training her to be a lesbian
79. i'm afraid she'll grow up to be a republican just to rebel
80. i want to write a book eventually
81. i'm always a little pissy when my fortune cookie doesn't have a 'learn chinese' part on the back
82. i've only played the lottery once, when i was old enuff to buy a ticket. i was sad that i didn't get carded
83. i've got an out of control bath product addiction.
84. my favorite color is orange
85. i once got an email through napster asking me if i was schizophrenic, based on my playlist. that actually made my day.
86. i like defying categorization
87. i strive to be different
88. i have a hard time sharing my true emotions
89. but i tell everyone else to do exactly that.
90. i'm bad at math
91. i have a fantastic memory for all things mundane
92. i'm good at scrabble and trivial pursuit because of this
93. i hate to admit when i don't understand something
94. i like debates
95. it makes me irrationally angry when white people hold their newly tan arm next to mine and go-look! i'm darker than you. like, saw their head off with a toothbrush sort of angry
96. i've never told any of my white friends that, so they keep doing it
97. i miss being able to be irresponsible
98. i'm sad that one of my best friends is getting ready to marry an alcoholic, and i set them up on their first date. i wish i could go back and change all that.
99. i picked peanuts real name partly because it was a palindrome
100. i'm surprised i actually finished this list.
2. i love my daughter more than anything.
3. i'd kill for a newport right about now.
4. loud noises make me want to get down on the floor, in case it's gunfire
5. i hate it that people think #4 is something i do to be funny.
6. i'm often more insecure than people think
7. i secretly long for a real spa pedicure
8. i write poems, then tear them up
9. sometimes i cry in the shower.
10. i wish i had more discipline.
11. it scares me when people tell me that i'm a good mom. it's too much pressure.
12. i want to go back to italy
13. i have moles. the body kind, not like, random small burrowing blind animals.
14. i'm addicted to tattoos.
15. and piercings. but i feel like, now that i'm a mom, i need to knock that shit off.
16. i once stole a purple velvet bookmark in elementary school and got caught.
17. i actually do like chick flicks. shh.
18. i find racism in random advertisements, and then i get all pissy for a while and boycott.
19. i don't boycott walmart because it would be inconvienent.
20. i wish i had the discipline to be a vegetarian.
21. i'm really judgemental. i hate that.
22. i feel like i should do more.
23. i don't know if i'll make it to 100. this is hard.
24. i rather enjoy the fruity babyfood.
25. i once sang sweet transvestite in front of a theatre full of strangers.
26. i was high when i took my SATs. i still got almost 1100.
27. i want my kid to be smarter than me.
28. i have no patience for stupid people.
29. i hate punctuation, and capitalization. i enjoy languagefucking.
30. there are people i dislike enough to injure.
31. i'm pro-life
32. i want to have a VBAC if we have more kids
33. at a birthing center.
34. i pumped breastmilk for a cancer patient.
35. she died anyway. i feel guilty.
36. i lack follow through.
37. i'm really funny.
38. i can read faster than the average bear.
39. i have an inexplicable affection for mechanical singing plush toys.
40. those christmas trees with faces that sing freak me out a lot.
41. so does thomas the tank engine, and jayjay the jetplane
42. this is the answer.
43. i read the same books over again, even when they weren't that good to begin with.
44. i like cool ranch doritos better than nacho cheese doritos.
45. i once drank everclear with koolaid. i don't recommend it.
46. i'm really good at lying. but i end up telling on myself.
47. i've been raped.
48. i don't know how to tell my daughter that.
49. i enjoy the tiki motif
50. i'm a really good swimmer.
51. i love the beach.
52. i miss pittsburgh more than i'd admit. sometimes i wish i was still there.
53. i am occasionally accused of hating white people. usually by other white people.
54. i was white for 12 years and didn't know it.
55. now i'm black, because South Carolina doesn't have a multi/bi-racial box on their drivers licsence, and i'm all about equal opportunity.
56. i'm occasionally accused of hating black people. usually by other white people.
57. i wish my blog got more comments
58. i worry about posting pictures of peanut, because of crazy freaks
59. i feel like it's my responsibility to keep everyone i know happy
60. i have an inexplicable love for desk calendars
61. and those mini-kits from the bookstore, like, yoga in a box, spa in a box, etc.
62. and informercials. i could recite the entire set it and forget it infomercial
63. what's more, i own a set it and forget it. and a magic bullet.
64. i wish i could crochet. but i can only do one long chain.
65. i like to listen to depressing music sometimes. even if i'm not depressed.
66. i like dunkin donuts better than krispy kreme
67. in fact, i think krispy kreme is overrated, and a rip off. i mean, it's sugared air! now, a dunkin donut. that's a donut with some SUBSTANCE.
68. i think i should use a parental thing to block all search engines from my computer so i can't scare myself with pho's, pvc's, phtalates, BPAs, and all the other horrible things that my daughter is going to be exposed to.
69. i have mild OCD.
70. it's a miracle that i don't have a police record from my misspent youth
71. i always feel secretly superior at the pedi's office when peanuts hemoglobin count is high, even tho she's not on drops.
72. i wish i had my own tv show, a la waynes world, but without the rackety music
73. i hate heavy metal
74. i'm afraid i'm not interesting enough to have a full 100 things on this list
75. i am going to dred my hair. i'm scared, but hopeful.
76. i hate childrens songs. i sing the indigo girls to peanut.
77. and ani difranco
78. i might secretly be training her to be a lesbian
79. i'm afraid she'll grow up to be a republican just to rebel
80. i want to write a book eventually
81. i'm always a little pissy when my fortune cookie doesn't have a 'learn chinese' part on the back
82. i've only played the lottery once, when i was old enuff to buy a ticket. i was sad that i didn't get carded
83. i've got an out of control bath product addiction.
84. my favorite color is orange
85. i once got an email through napster asking me if i was schizophrenic, based on my playlist. that actually made my day.
86. i like defying categorization
87. i strive to be different
88. i have a hard time sharing my true emotions
89. but i tell everyone else to do exactly that.
90. i'm bad at math
91. i have a fantastic memory for all things mundane
92. i'm good at scrabble and trivial pursuit because of this
93. i hate to admit when i don't understand something
94. i like debates
95. it makes me irrationally angry when white people hold their newly tan arm next to mine and go-look! i'm darker than you. like, saw their head off with a toothbrush sort of angry
96. i've never told any of my white friends that, so they keep doing it
97. i miss being able to be irresponsible
98. i'm sad that one of my best friends is getting ready to marry an alcoholic, and i set them up on their first date. i wish i could go back and change all that.
99. i picked peanuts real name partly because it was a palindrome
100. i'm surprised i actually finished this list.
posted by boodafli at 12:25 PM
4 Comments:
What a fantastic list! I also love the way your blog looks now. I don't know if it's just me, but the words run in to the polka-dotty part on the left and it's hard to read :( Is that how it's supposed to be? Maybe this stupid work computer messes up the look of everyone's blogs!
so yeah you complain that no one fucking comments thats because you need to sign up to get posted blah! when are you going to open up and reveal yourself? I think I knew every thing on your list. Also just to let you know if you haven't realized it yet...i do #95 just to piss you off :)
I love your blog!! Very neat colors and art work. You are real and honest and funny. I like that!
By the way I have a friend who is an unschooler who had a wonderful VBAC. Read Laura Shanley's website (google her). She's awesome!
Have fun on your journey!!
~Heather
www.heathersmovingcastle.blogspot.com
www.barterbus.blogspot.com
57. i wish my blog got more comments:
So, I can promise you I'll never tell you that I'm darker than you, sadly, ever... ~MommyWow
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