heading back to history

so. my mom had a job interview in columbia. which is 2.5 hours from here. and so we took a roadtrip with the baby. and on the way down, there was this place that had a sign that said 'African Village' as seen on tv. i was like, oooh. lets do that on the way back. so we did. it's a little yorubaland right here in SC. they've got a king, and he lives in a for real afin, and they had these great altars to all the orishas. so so awesome to see all of it. they spoke yoruban, which, i think is one of the prettiest dialects. it felt kind of weird to be taking a 'tour' of the village. i mean, it was just people living, and working, and worshipping, just like they do on millions of streets, in millions of towns. but also, it felt kind of like coming home. i mean, i had peanut in the sling, and she was fussy, so we nursed, with her in the sling, and so i'm walking, and slinging, and nursing, and kindof prayerfully acknowledging each orisha we come upon, and it was really-like-natural feeling. i dunno. i think peanut got it too, cuz she calmed down right away. or maybe she was just happy nursing.

anyway.

these dustyfooted children run
chasing dragonflies
in summer
as mothers sell fruit
silver
masks
deal the money
the men speak politic
white walls reflect heat
white clothes too
but these black people
reflect me
see my history
in their present
hold my daughter out to yemeyah
hope for life, and love for her
chant
ile
ife
ile
ife
hope for life.

look what i made!

4th o july...bbq sauce is a big hit

independence day

so. we went to the flying pig festival on the 4th of july. there were ribs, and vendors, and music, and fireworks. this is the first time that i've slung peanut for more than like, an hour or so. it was GREAT! she slept in the sling, (and when gene had her, she was starting to doze in the snugli, but i was concerned cuz she was doing a nose plant in the mesh part. so we switched her to the sling.) we ran into the Beaufort Reads people there. they had a storytelling tent. and they were just crazy over peanut. it was so cute. then gene got us ribs, and he ate first, and then i gave peanut over to him, and she woke up, and was sitting up on his lap, gnawing on his thumb, and grinnin her fool head off. i think she maybe was getting some barbecue sauce. it was so cute. and then it was time for fireworks. there was a trolley to take us from the festival to the beach, and on the trolley, there was some kid whos birthday it was, and so people cheered, which scared peanut, so she freaked out a bit. but then, the fireworks, which were MUCH louder, didn't seem to phase her at all. and then, she started rooting, so we nursed, and she fell ASLEEP! during the GRAND FINALE! i love this kid. she'll sleep through anything. then, walking back to the cars, it was SUPER hot, so i think she got over heated, cuz she kept spitting up, but she was still sleeping. weird. so we came home, and i hopped in the shower with her to cool her off and to get the spit up off both of us. and after that, she was fine. all in all, a fab fourth, if i do say so my self.

speaking too soon

as i often do. it is saturday night/sunday morning, and gene and peanut have had a wonderful day together. they got up before me (well, i nursed her a bit and then they got up) and i spent 3 whole hours in the bed by myself. i don't think i moved at all, i slept so hard. the other day, i pumped a lil milk to see if peanut would take a bottle with a faster flow-no go. i don't particularly mind that she's a boob-a-holic. but what happens if i get sick or have to go to the hospital, or get hit by a car, or some other horrid thing that would preclude direct boob nursing? how can i be reassured that if needed, she'll take a bottle. i mean, i know theoretically, babies will take a bottle *if they get hungry enuff* but that would entail lots of sobbing and unhappiness. which is a thing i try to avoid. *grin* anyways. also today, we went to the waterfront. gene had peanut in the snugli for the first bit of our walk. this was the first time we tried having her face out in that. she's good in the kangaroo carry in the peanut shell, and also the maya, so i figured she'd be good in the snugli. it was so cute, seeing her look all around from her super tall vantage point. i do believe she enjoyed being taller than mommy. but mostly i'm just happy that she was happy on daddy. i think the fact that they started the day together made a big difference. i think that by the time he gets home, he's tired and cranky-and she picks up on that, so then she's cranky. but this is a three-day weekend (yay july 4th) so maybe that'll help them re-connect. and maybe i'll get another 3 hour nap with no peanut toes in my nose. *grin*

of slings and dads and other things

so i got my mayawrap today. LOVE IT! i liked the peanutshell okay, but the versatility of the maya is great. i can even nurse in it.

on the other hand, i'm just glad to have anything which allows me to hold the baby, without using my hands, because otherwise i'd hardly be able to get anything done. don't get me wrong-i'm not a house cleaning freak who has my priorities twisted. the way i see it, the house will always be around to be cleaned, but peanuts only a peanut for a tiny bit of time. however, lately she's only tolerating other people for a little while, before freakin out. actually, this has always been the case, its just now she's awake more. this means that i either have to sling her while i pee, or pee really quickly. also, i need to eat like someones gonna take it away from me. because really. she can hear a chicken nugget hit the honey mustard in a dead sleep at 500 feet.

and it's tough too, because i think gene thinks she doesn't like him as much. really, its just that she like my boobs. i'm fairly sure she feels about the same in terms of us as people. i have the added benefit of being lunch. also, tho, i think because i spend allll day with her, i have a sort of radar in terms of what she needs. but i feel bad-the other day, i was telling my dad how peanut has gone on a bottle strike. and he said 'isn't that what you want?' and i was actually confused for a second so i said-what? and he said 'for her to be totally and completely dependent on you for ever?' and i said-no. not for ever. but for right now, when she can't even pick her own nose, of COURSE i expect her to be dependent. and if she won't take a bottle, then yeah, she's dependent on me. gene won't try male lactation. ' but for a split second, before i remembered that my dad can be a giant arse sometimes, i actually felt guilty for nursing. i thought-if she was on artificial baby milk, then she'd be more bonded to her dad. forget the fact that for the first 2 weeks, she was almost exclusively on bottles. god. its not like i don't know better. it's not like i don't know sometimes she just nurses for comfort. and i LOVE that i can do that for her. i just feel bad that gene can't. but i figure, the more i leave them alone, the more they'll work out their soothing rituals. right now, he walks her. it's so sweet. he cradles her in his arms, and walks all over the house, bouncing and whispering daddy nothings in her ear. i leak all over the place every time it happens.. so cute. if anyone has any suggestions on how to get her more okay with other folks for longer periods of time without screwing up the AP philosophy-pls comment and let me know.