loves o my life

for real laughing

she giggles. i love it. granted, its mostly the ceiling fan that evokes this pure joy, but occasionally she'll grace me with a giggle. it sounds like angels. or summer. or flowers blooming. or stars. its the most beautiful sound in the world.

how lucky am i?

she was a fabulous travel companion. no crying on the plane (at all-all 4 planes). she was super charming to her grandfather. she was a little miffed with her great grandmother, but i think that's cuz she picks up on bad vibes really easily, and my grandmother has horrid vibes. she was so much fun. and my friends adore her (of course.) i miss pittsburgh tho. like, i love it here, but i wish all my friends would move down here. the LLL league thing is cool and all, and the playdates look promising, (there's one girl i really get along with) but i miss my PEEPS. i want them to see peanut grow up.

stupid white men.

i am overly irritated at the pediatrician. he seems to not respect my right as a parent to make decisions about my kid. like, i want to delay vaxing, and i have researched everything about that to the nth degree, but then we get to the appt, and he was all scare tacticy about that, and cosleeping. like, she's 2 months old, she's 13 lbs, she's advanced for her age, shut up. i got this. and then gene who, was on the bandwagon for delaying, all of a sudden flipped on me. ARGH! i just wish he'd freakin READ some of the stuff that i'm reading. i know he's at work all day, and wants to decompress when he gets home, and i respect that, but the AP sears book is less than 200 pages. not a huge investment, and maybe then he'd stop looking at me like i'm a RETARD.

she actually makes me ache

she was sleeping next to me, and i looked down at her, she was grinnin like a fool in her sleep. i realized, if anything (god forbid) ever happens to her, my world will just crumble. into tiny pieces. i had NO idea it was possible to love like this. no idea.

in-laws

only i'm an outlaw. the paternal gps are in, and we went to the beach...peanuts 1st visit, and my 1st internal struggle between keepin tha peace, and sticking to my guns. i wanted to take pnut in a tidepool, but the yoder collective vetoed that. apparently, 85 degrees isnt warm enuff. and its mothers day. and so far, everything that isn't peanut has royally sucked, which sucks in itself since its my 1st m-day.

goin to pburgh

so its official. me n the peanut n mom are goin to pburgh, on a plane. i'm so glad my mom is comin with...i think travelling with an infant for the first time, with no assistance, after sept 11th, is maybe too much for my hormones. plus, it'll be nice to have her in the same state if i have babycare issues. she occasionally knows of what she speaks, that lady. i read that i should nurse on takeoff and landing, and that that will keep peanuts ears under control. i hope they have big seats. we're at a point where peanut is comfy enuff with nursing that she pops off to peep whats goin on around her. so, i can see us now-oh i'm so sorry flight attendent-i didn't mean to squirt you in the eye. my kid just has a lil ADD. maybe i'll sit by the window.

oration peanut style

how freakin smart is my peanut? she 'talks.' like, if you say stuff to her, then wait, she makes these little ahhhh ehhhhh ohhhh noises, and then waits for you to talk, then stop, then she starts again. its like a whole conversation thing going on. its great. especially during the day when everyone else is at work. in cool news, i might be hittin a LLL meeting, maybe meet some new moms. i gotta call and find out when tho.

holy crap

she rolled from back to tummy tonight.