at her 2 week she was 8.6 i think we're good on the nursing bit...since she only gets a bottle like, every other day or so now. i still pump like a fiend, (but god. i never wanted 12 inch nipples. this is ridiculous. there has to be a better pump somewhere.) we had a visit from the public health nurse. she said we didn't need her. she said we were great parents. i told her i studied for this test. but the thing is, sometimes i look at her, my tiny daughter, this angel, and i keep waiting for someone to come and take her-and say it's all been a mistake. i can't even figure out how i got so blessed. she has this smell, this milky fresh baby smell, and like, i hate to bathe her because then she smells like soap-and i wait and wait for her to smell like her again. but i'm terrified about not bathing her-what if she gets some weird flesheating disease from crusty milkspots? then what. i've doomed her to a life of ick because i wanted her to smell like baby. i should not be responsible for another human being. clearly i'm insane. shes so smart tho. she holds these play keys. and she studies everything. i mean, everything. and she smiles. when she nurses, and when she sleeps. they aren't gas. they're smiles. and its like they're just for me.
